I was scrolling along on Instagram yesterday, randomly clicking through people in an attempt to find new makeup hacks, nice outfits, someone with a more interesting life than mine, etc… and I came across this girl. She was beautiful: She was Asian, like me. Her hair was styled to perfection and her makeup was impeccably applied. She wore a brightly coloured summer dress and she sat on the grass in an effortless pose, as she soaked up the rare England sun. I admired The Girl, wondering if she had written a product breakdown or perhaps her outfit details below. I was so going to copy that.
I scrolled down.
The first word that shot out at me was “slut”. I was in utter confusion. What had I accidentally clicked on? I scrolled back up, my eyes squinting, expecting to see some unwanted insta-porn. No… it was still The Girl. Something wasn’t right. I scrolled back down, this time more slowly, but sure enough, there it was. “Slut”. And further below that, the same person had written “you should be ashamed of yourself.” DaDesiPrincess99 clearly did not like The Girl. Curiosity took over my body and I clicked on the deadly “comments” button. And what I witnessed, was in fact the most shameful thing of all.
For some reason, it has become a hobby within the Asian community to write abusive comments on photos of girls who look vaguely attractive and partially confident. Scattered across England, there is a little army of keyboard warriors who clearly believe that they possess the soul of an Imam- and I see them slut shaming Asian girls constantly for what they do and especially for what they wear. I am sick and tired of it. Sometimes there are Islamic quotations being thrown around, but most of the time there is just pure, vulgar, derogatory, disgusting abuse. And the saddest part? The fact that a lot of the time, it is girls who are wearing a hijab who are writing these comments. Please, don’t take this as a generalisation of all girls who cover- the majority of you are beautiful, strong and amazing. But this is a fact that cannot be denied. There are numerous girls who do wear a hijab, who write these sorts of comments on the photos of girls who don’t. They carry some sort of feeling of superiority, because they are clearly better human beings that the rest of us whores who don’t cover our hair. Oh, it doesn’t matter if you have a face full of makeup and tight clothes- because your hair is covered so you are better than me. Oh, it doesn’t matter that you are in a shisha place with your boyfriend- because your hair is covered so you are automatically better than me. It most certainly does not matter that your headscarf always has a sneak peak of the front of your hair showing (and on your wedding day your entire hair is out) because you, my love, are a SAINT. You spent the whole of Ramadan abstaining from food but indulging in bitching about others- but you are the bloody Queen of the Muslimahs. Because clearly, the religion of Islam begins and ends at… what you wear.
This complete ignorance of how you actually live your life on a day to day basis is not acceptable. There are girls like Faryal Makhdoom who get blasted on an hourly basis because their photos are “wearing too much makeup” or because they dared to take a picture in a swimming pool… but here is a key question that no one seems to consider: WHAT BUSINESS IS IT OF YOURS? If you don’t like it, don’t look at it. NO ONE IS FORCING YOU TO. Don’t handpick Islamic quotations to support your vile vendettas; how “Muslim” are you when you are using such dirty language anyway? When did God give you the right to backbite, to judge, to bully, to swear, to humiliate? I’m fortunate I haven’t yet experienced such hatred on my page… but the irony of the whole situation still bemuses me. These people are so deluded that they are insulting another person’s character, when they are doing something so nasty themselves. I am by far not the greatest, most practising Muslim in the world but I sure as hell would never make a mockery out of other people’s sins, degrade them and upset them in such a way. If God can forgive a murderer, then who the hell are we to judge each other?
My mum always told me one thing since I was a child, and I guess that’s the best note to end this blog on. She said the hijab is beautiful thing, and we need to do it justice. She said we always must remember to not disrespect it. So before you put a hijab on your head, put a hijab on your heart. Make sure your heart is clean and pure. Then put it on your eyes; don’t look at bad things, be involved in sinful situations… and then, only then, put a hijab on your head to show the world what a great Muslim you are.
And perhaps in this case, please put a hijab on your fingertips too.
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Great post, I find this inspiring…
Thank you! 🙂
i just read the article because I thought you were hot but it turned out to actually be pretty good… I’ll check out your other stuff : )
Lol! Well, that’s two compliments in one. Thank you 🙂
Hi it’s me Dallas. You’re right. This is so inspiring.
I am also inspired. It’s glad to hear things from someone who is like me. I often feel like I am almost suffocated by cultural expectations. Well written!
This blog really opens your eyes to this society, really makes you think, feel ashamed of my generation.
Wow! This happens to me all the time. Very inspiring!
beautifully written mehreen, it is taboo in our society people’s always pass bad remarks to others they always forget who they are? it is more important for us what God thinks about us not what people think about us, because this is unsatisfied world thing which we can’t do we expect others they shouldn’t do as well. everyone is responsible for their act in front of God. you are really talented mehreen
You little beaut. Couldn’t have said it better myself. Love the ending in particular; mama’s words ❤️ Congrats and keep them coming. Elle x
Loved it, look forward to the next one 🙂 xo
Love what you’ve written! Can’t wait for your next posts xx
So beautiful written- both mum and I really enjoyed reading it! You capture the concept perfectly and epitomise all the negativity that surrounds many Asian girls! Well done Hun Xx Maarya ❤️
Wow this has such an edifying message and so brilliantly expressed. It is so true that we only have a right to focus on simply being and improving on ourselves.
This is why we are friends!!!!! lol I love you! Fantastic read!
Loved it. More blogs on Asian and islam lifestyles please please!
Great stuff.. Agree wholeheartedly x
Thank you!
Great message, can definitely relate to it. Well written also. Zabardast.
Thank you very much, Saqib!
you should know about teachings of a religion then speak about it.Islam gives you complete reachings how to spend your life.if someone teased you at the internet then it doesn’t mean all muslim girls are bad
Hi Talha, thank you for your comment. I guess you missed the entire point of the blog. I was not criticising Islam; I myself am a follower and believer in Islam and its beauty. I refrain from “teaching” people about the religion as indeed I agree with you; you should know about the teachings fully before you speak about it. In fact, I totally agree with you; if only people who know about the religion fully spoke about it, there would be no one writing hateful comments on other people’s photos, blogs etc.
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Although I do agree with most of your idea, I do disagree with the somewhat confident comment you made and the analysis you made. Any man or woman who constantly feels the need to put up pictures of themselves for the sake of peoples attention surely lacks confidence. Dressing up tightly, walking while string your feet, lots of makeup, excessive perfume, these are all the signs of seeking attention. Their are hijabi sluts out their and their are non-hijabis who aren’t sluts.
Faryal Makhdoom seeks attention, constantly. She and her brother wave the flag of Islam and at the same time whore themselves out for fame and money. The issue isn’t with their own personal choice, no, it has to do with the responsibility of power and fame. Faryal will be asked by God, what message did you send to the masses with all the fame and following I gave you. I grew up with them, I know what she has done, she used to be cool and down to earth. I can’t comment on her now, I haven’t spoken to her in years. But I do wish she took responsibility for her actions effect on other girls. Her brother was cool as well, but we had a fallout.
Anyhow yes she tries to make an effort by putting up wonderful comments about Islam. But it’s the subliminal messages she sends the youth, some of whom aspire to be her, who want to look like her, who listen to her every whim. If you raise a young child around a prostitute she more likely than not will become a prostitute. She is damaging the Ummah. Your analysis lacked substance because it dared not touch the core of the issue, you merely scathed it. But well done for the most part. But do remember the issue is the effect of her and others on society. Kind of like how the Kardashians made every girl want to be in a sex tape with a black guy.
Anyhow, I know this blog was from over a year ago, but best wishes to you.